*Low growl commences* (Warning! Text Only!)

"A friendship that can cease was never real."

I read that while browsing a xanga blogring and it made me wonder...who are my true friends? Who considers me their true friend? Do I have true friends?

Sadly, I couldn't answer any of the questions. I know, or at least I think I know, that all friendships can come and go...with everyone. Does thinking this make it true, a self-fulfilling prophecy? Is something wrong with me, that I don't feel as emotionally connected as I should?

The strongest bond I have is to my family and cousins. I hope it never happens, but I would take a bullet for any of them. I would live and die for them. But would they do the same for me? Would they dedicate themselves to furthering each other and advancing not only as an individual, but as a family? I would. I'd find it more important than my individual succes: if I could give one or more of my family members success by sacrificing my own, I would.

Where does that leave me?

Does it leave a dearth of the stuff that makes up emotional bonds? Maybe I just can't handle anymore, and that's why I'm not sure which of the people I know are my true friends. "My emotional bonding glue has run out, God. I'm guessing there aren't any refills?"

I guess what I'm feeling now is loneliness. And I can't even tell why. I have cool friends, cool family, cool cousins. Heck, even my family's friends and my cousins' cousins are cool. I don't know many of my friends' family...

Maybe I'll grow out of this loneliness thing. I bet I can blame this whole thing on that stupid nucleus accumbens slowing down.

One day, I'll teach that rebellious brain lobe a lesson.