On hugs

I will never ask for a hug. Well, almost never. I have not yet experienced inebriation.

If you asked me to hug you, I'd say no. Unless it's a special occasion, in which I will reluctantly hold out my arms.

If you asked to hug me, I'd say no, regardless of whether or not it's a special occasion. "No," in this case actually means, "Fine." If you hugged me, I would quickly cringe and make sure you knew that I consider human contact to be evil. This actually means, "What the fuck is wrong with you? I said 'no,' which everyone knows means 'no,' but in this case means, 'there will be no retribution.' Either you have seen through my defenses, or you are incredibly insensitive about my wishes."

With that in mind, I like hugs.

See, not complicated at all.